The old chap should be hitting 60 next year. He has grown a bit frazzled. His big belly that I used tease when I was five is gone, his shoulders that he carried me on, are now haggard and his hair has gone all grey. I no longer run towards him when I spot him coming from work; sometimes I don’t even notice he is home. He often times calls me Susan; which is a bit scary because he has called me kamtu kadogo all my life. He spends his evenings sometimes worrying about his sick mum and his silence nowadays is a bit too loud.
I am at least glad that nowadays he can easily open his emails even though I have to help type in the whole reply. I was surprised the other day that he could actually blue-tooth my mum a song. Then last Friday, he sent me a Facebook friend request which I canceled; I did not think even rethink it twice.
His Dreams.
A few months ago, I arrived home from school. I noticed the house looked different, the old man had finally decided to build a perimeter fence around it. But the word ‘decided’ here is a bad word; because after 14 years of living in a house not fenced, 8 of those in the same house not plastered, 4 of those with walls that have gaping holes and 2 more with a muddy floor…you just don’t decide; you make it happen even if your pockets are dented. That evening some two 20 year-olds passed by and started laughing at how the wall was weak. He didn’t notice..but I noticed a tear form in his eyes.On Jamhuri day, the old man bought chicken. His body can no longer withstand red meat.He told me to get a knife…and then like a man in deep thought he said, “Unfortunately, God did not allow me to sire sons. But he gave me a daughter whose heart is stronger than most young men and I must teach you these little manly tasks.” So off, I had to chop the poor hen’s head.I did not sleep for three days.
Earlier this year, on January 9th, he put on a suit with a white shirt and a red matching tie. His last daughter was reporting to campus and I suppose he wanted to show that he was proud.Throughout the journey, I noticed his hands trembling. At stops, he would shove back a misplaced hair strand on my head and continuously repeat that I have to work hard.
My My Life.
At 18, I am 40 years younger than my dad; yet his dreams are my dreams. I will probably be the one to finish building our house. The old man let me in also, a few years back that he would want to drive his own car again after almost 30 years; I will probably be the one to purchase this one.He insists that I should get a first class honors as well as become a fully certified public accountant in the next four years; In fact, he himself, tutored me on CPA section 1, he brags everywhere that I passed, even to lazy dullards who do not give a hoot. Though my law dreams are close to fading, the old man has insisted that I must become a lawyer. He never says it out loud though, but he buys conventional law books and makes a point of introducing me to a lawyer or two every now and then. He has a time limit too; a Ph.D. by 30.
At 18, the old man has ensured I know that there is a God who lives, who is to be feared. He is the same man who led me to the Lord when I was in class 2 and most importantly, he allowed me to know that there is such a thing as free will. That I can always leave religion when I want to and I can always turn to Christ when I realize He is the only one who remains true. I have grown to be a teacher like the old man. I explain scripture in depth to anyone who wills to listen.Sometimes I question my beliefs; then I remember the old man would refer me to Deuteronomy 30:11-14.
Well, friends, I have big tasks and shoes to fit in. It is for some of these reasons, I have no time for dunda on Fridays. It is for these same dreams, that I cannot have sex before marriage, after all, the much-hailed pleasure might just be 20 minutes of extreme work out and 10 seconds of seeing stars. It is for these reasons that I get chocked by the smell of weed, alcohol, and shisha…noo…there is just no need to smoke shisha. You wonder why I take months to post a single photo on Instagram, I just don’t find the joy of getting likes and a handful of DMs that I won’t respond to.
Of course, I am sure the winds may blow by. Someone will sweep me off my feet and for a month, I will not wake up to attend my 6:15 am morning classes since I will be way smitten. I am sure that a friend will drag me to a rave and the following day I will be nursing a bad headache. I am almost sure someone will offer me weed laced cookies or simsim..and I will spend the night laughing hysterically. I will tell you; these things scare me, they keep me awake on some nights.But at least I am aware of them.At least, I have dreams from my father to always bring me back to the light and to life; dreams that now, are my own dreams.
This is deep. Susan, make your father proud.
I sure will Kennedy.Thank you.
That’s one great dad
He sure is
I am sure fascinated by this piece.Now Susan this is the right track though many may say that belonging to this alcoholic stuff is somehow classy and belonging.At least am happy that you knkw amd you wont fall prey of the same trap.
Now that you have dreams ;chase them and never relent in your pursuit.Make him proud.
Kudos!๐
Thank you Morris.I will make him proud..Asanti sana for the warm wishes.
Such a raw and honest piece, I feel like most posts dedicated to bloggers’ fathers contain too much praise for them, not that its bad but once in a while you need to read something real.
Don’t succumb to the pressure of this world honey, just do you, I think the coolest people are those who are able to stand by their values when everyone else thinks otherwise.
PS: You don’t sound like an 18 year old. Are you really 18?
I am 18 dear..haha..I am just a fresher in campus.Thank you for your lovely words and insights.I really do appreciate
I will treasure your words.
nice piece..make him proud
I sure wil.Thank you for reading this.
Very nice one Migwi….may favor be ur portion
Thank you Syombua.
Deep.
Make his hopes a reality.
I promise to Kevin.Asanti.
Susan, this is such a beautiful piece. Don’t ever lower your standards, make your father proud. And what he said is true: you are stronger than any man out there. God bless. ๐
Asanti sana Njeri.I will keep your words in my thoughts.God bless you too dear.
I don’t know why it’s written Njeri and I indicated Faith Nyaga ๐
Bado najua ni weww Nyaga..I k ow no other Muthoni…
Wow Susan… Beautiful…. The chopping off of the chicken’s head… I can relate…
Haha..Asanti sana love..
This post is so amazing and deep. I adore your writing skills. Can’t wait to read more…
Haha..thank you.More are coming.
This right here is the very expression of in depth understanding of self and society presented in utmost mastery of language and skill… Awesome piece to say the least.
Thank you for reading this. I do appreciate.
Deep and insightful. I love the fact that I have seen a different approach to life and it’s refreshing how that family bond is.
Thank you for your kind words.I really do appreciate.Be blessed.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
You hold your life in your hands and don’t allow anyone to torment your focused mind.
Always give a smile and a silence because thats what successful people always give out.
You have the capacity, potential and ability to do and become whoever you wishes. Your dreams are valid.
Keep praying, you never know how or when God will answer.
Be the pillar of you family and Daddy’s life, don’t let him down
Success in everything yo do.
Be Happy
Be Yourself
๐
Smith Njogu, your words are humbling.
Thank you so much.May the Good Lord bless you in all your endeavours.
I will keep your wise words close to my heart.
This is A Piece. Not a piece if writing; but a piece of you. A snippet into the depths that are Susan Migwi. A fragment, raw and delicate yet highly explosive, of the thoughts, memories and experiences that make you who you are.
Not all heroes wear capes. I can see one right here.
This. Is. Beautiful.
I really do appreciate this kind words.I really do.Thank you so much.
whoa!!
This post is so amazing, I’m even thinking of taking you out for dunda ๐
Alaa!Already?I have been waiting for you to take me on the dare…haha..Thank you Lewis.
Wow! I could literally see you and the air of determination that’s always around you through out the piece. Deep.
In the words of Walt Disney, “All dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”. Since you have mastered your reality, with the understanding of the task ahead… May God give you the courage to persue your father’s dreams-your dreams amidst all the hullabaloo around you…
PS:Your writing skills are on point! Keep on and God bless!
Mambo.Asante sana for reading this, for your warm thoughts and your kindest of prayers.I really do appreciate.
Great piece. Your daddy is definitely proud of you. Continue making him proud
I hope he is dear..I will make him more proud.Asante sana
Our “miles Monroe” is at it again ๐
Must say I am proud of you girl๐
That’s one heck of an awesome piece ๐
Grow wiser and be sure to make daddy proud ๐
Thanks Joy…Greatest fan of this blog…haha…
Asanti for the kind words.
Alilililili Susan … amazing ,truly amazing ,nimetii sweetheart .I pray that these dreams come true ,yours and your dad’s ๐
Umetii yaani..haha…Thank you Cate..Dunda went how?
Susan!!!..
I have read all of your articles…and I have to say this is my favourite so far…
Honestly, you are an exceptional person. I’ve always known that since the day we met..I hope you achieve all your dreams. And those of your dad.
Deshkie๐…mapenzi tele!
๐๐๐๐๐๐Thank you deshkie…for all these awesome words…and always reading this blog.I always pray for you too..to achieve all your dreams.
Mapenzi tele too ๐๐๐๐๐๐
You never cease to amaze. About the law dreams, never let them fade. All the best Susan.
I won’t.Thank you Bravian.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who detests being a human chimney! Good job, cheers to living dad’s dreams that are now yours! ๐๐๐
Thank you Tracey for reading this.And yes…we are many..those of us who strive to be the best.
waaoh I love what am reading…Reading I can see fragments of who you are and what has made you…looking forward to reading many of this.
Asante sana Patoh.More posts are on the way.
Wow !This is great
Your perspective is dope..i must say your aura is incredible
I know you’ll make your dad proud
Great work Susan
Thank you Joy for the kind words and heartfelt thoughts.God bless you dear.
I love it really.
looking forward to reading more.
We share the same opinion in many aspect.
push harder
Kingsley..thank for reading this.I do appreciate.
The principles come out so strong. Hold on there. Good piece
I Will hold on there.Thank you.
Good one.
apo kwa shisha weed and the stuff
tuko pamoja
Haha…shikilia hapo boss.Thanks Eric.
Amazing, amazing, amazing!!!!
Thanks Regina.
This right here is a deep piece .A real perspective as well.
Thank you Stacy.
Damn Susan. This is so beautiful. I feel calm at heart.
Thank you.I really do appreciate you reading this.
You happen to put my thoughts or rather my fears into words…its another masterpiece ๐๐ฝ
Thanks Noah.Asanti sana
Amazing piece right there
I had to hold my tears so relatable
I’m so proud of you๐
Thank you dear…Sometimes it’s better just to cry don’t you think?
If others were like you this earth would have been a paradise so do not relent
but keep the good works rolling,
because there is a great reward both the heaven and on earth.I love your article.
Thank you Brian.I appreciate your kind words.God bless you.
Wow
Great piece.Touching indeed
Thanks Benjamin.
It is for these reasons that I get chocked by the smell of weed, alcohol and shishaโฆnooโฆthere is just no need to smoke shisha.
We’re in the same league. The smell of alcohol gives me headaches. Reminds me of all the practicals that involved ethanol way back and I always got out of the lab feeling sick.
In fact, he himself, tutored me on CPA section 1, he brags everywhere that I passed
Speaking of CPA Hebu tell me how they are…
CPA is awesome…as long as you are ready to read; things will flow.
The relationship-Priceless and Honest.
Thank you.
Like the ones before…. This is just as captivating… ๐๐what I enjoy most is how you bring out the story…. You could be a second Margaret ogola ๐๐…make him proud๐
Thanks Lucianne..I do appreciate your kind thoughts.
Its a honest and nice piece
Hope the old man lives to see you fulfill his dreamsSamuel
Thanks Samuel..I hope so too.I do appreciate your kind thoughts.
Wow…..too true too true!
Your going places Susan,keep writing your heart out for it inspires many.God bless.
Thanks Clem…God bless you too.
Ps. I miss you
Sue, as much as you are funny, and subtle in the way that you deliver your own unique voice, I am always waiting to hear whats happening around. Keep writing, we as readers will just listen and be inspired.
Lawrence..Alaa..kumbe I am funny..haha..so nice to hear from you.Thank you for reading this.
We should catch up.
I could read this again, and again. Susan, you are a wordsmith!
Thank you Jacob.I really do appreciate it.
Wah susan!!!… You amaze me. I love this piece of literature. Keep on with the good work dear and make your Papa proud
Abi…thank you so much for your warm thoughts.I really do appreciate it..
I have really missed you.
Words well constructed. Keep the dream alive. All the best.
I will, thank you.All the best too.
For a moment I felt as if I was reading Biko Zulu’s blog. I loved the writing..the humour and every bit of it. ๐๐Super amazing piece
Bikozulu has been torpid of late
Thanks Diana..I really do appreciate
This is so beautiful๐๐๐
Thanks Sandra.
Wow wow wow!!!!! what a wonderful piece….keep strong sweeerie….hop ni real story
yes it is a real story…thanks dear.
Susan, this is a great piece as it is full of passion and many raw emotions. I’m looking forward to reading your other posts in the near future. Keep dreaming and work toward those dreams.
Thank you for your kind words Ruth.
Amazing !!
thanks
I couldn’t even get through all the comments because I couldn’t wait to say that THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE is absolutely amazing. And you are eighteen!!๐๐ I would love to meet you sometime.
The honesty,and mostly, the ablitiy to see a father’s thoughts! Becuse they rarely do show them afterall…
Hey, Thank you, Angela!!
Well, I am now 19…haha
Thank you for your kind words.
I am ready to meet on any day!Just hit my dm